logoff or die

The next time Gala Darling goes on about radical self-love I think she should illustrate her point perfectly with one of these charming pictures from Try of Die.

WARNING: Too much radical self-love produces a laxative effect.

anorexic cigarette

This is Rachel Lynch from Velvet Cigarette. Her time blogging has been spent hooking up with photographers who help her graphically document her insane weight loss.

Fans of this deeply unhealthy, artistically defunct blogging icon like to post gushing messages encouraging her on her apparent path to self-destruction. Others raise more important points like, 'what the fuck?!' but those comments are, obviously, ignored, although I'm sure she revels in them.

Shame on the sponsors who pay her to place their ads on her thinspiration blog. They should take one look at her and see clearly that she needs help, not handouts.

But hey, it doesn't matter what other people think - Rachel is an artist. Yeah, and her writing is so deep it'll make your head spin. Here's a sample:

Bad-ass blonde from the badlands comes to new york on horseback. Dusty lace-up boots, pack of parliaments and a pistol at her side. A new town she can bust down and run around, you’re severely out-ranked. On the east coast, they called her the criminal blonde.

I sincerely doubt they do.

Most of her posts are packed full of bad clichés and terms like 'gaga prayers' and 'the tears of a black Jesus', but if that's not enough of a taster, you can buy her 'coffee table book' which is probably one long good reason why you should eat food.

cupcakes and shit smear

Cupcakes and Cashmere's office organisation posts slay me. Apparently thousands of loyal followers reckon they benefit from her pearls of infinite wisdom.. Well, she does 'work full time on her blog'. (Ugh, if the maintenance of that vacuous slice of cyberspace was all I'd managed to achieve in my working week, I'd punch myself in the vagina.) So, she's got plenty of time to rearrange her office space. One of her top tips - obviously organise your over-priced important research documents.

And yeah, 'classic' pencils in a tin.. A must-have accessory for any chic desk environment.

Such innovation.. I'm not worthy.

As you can see, Cashmere's schedule is packed out. Life just can't get any more hectic.
In fact, since the empty document files aren't a fair representation of how hard Cashmere's working on the blog, she's written a handy list to illustrate the ruthless nature of her daily rota.

As if hemming her new pants and popping to the post office aren't enough, she's so busy that she has to remind herself to answer her own emails. Looks like there'll barely be time to 'photograph dessert'.. What the actual fuck?

This is what passes for a 'creative' 'job' these days?

I really hope that 'speech' she's working on is about how to trick more idiots into believing this lifestyle has any intellectual merit whatsoever so we can all learn how to get a license to shit gold.

shitster musings?

When Hipster Musings? does the edgy Harry Potter thing it's definitely time to log off.

bones on toast

Yeah.. Because she had absolutely no idea what kind of controversy this picture would cause. You know what? I find it really difficult to give a shit whether she's healthy or not when I see her blatantly attention whoring her ridiculous BMI out to concerned fans and impressionable teenagers.

Bryanboy is to the blogosphere what Herpes is to sex

Here's Bryanboy, looking about as chic as a pile of cat sick.On Tuesday he decided to tell the high drama tale of being accosted at Mumbai airport because security believed he planned to sell the three mobile phones he had on him. Unfortunately, ordinary peasants with normal jobs don't understand why someone fabulous needs to travel with shitloads of phones. Fear not! Bryanboy managed to convince the plebians that the phones were indeed for personal use, by showing them the many naked bathroom photos of himself stored on the memory cards. Thank fuck for ridiculous vanity. If Bryanboy hadn't have invested hours vogueing in the buff for his self-timer, he might have had to spend longer talking to those grotesque nobodies. Disaster avoided.

Since those lofy, naive days of impressing Marc Jacobs with his notable gag reflex, Bryanboy has progressed to being someone whose opinions matter, which sometimes means he has to think of some. This week Bryanboy wants you to know that these sparkly pants are fucking fabulous. It's evident that they lead to skin rashes and yeast infections but, fuck it, pain is beauty, girlfriends.